Late Show with David Letterman Season 1, Episode 58: Stupid Human Tricks, Jon Lovitz, George Thoroughgood

Bill Murray, Tom Brokaw, Paul Newman, Billy Joel

Tom Brokaw shows up to take back some NBC ""intellectual property;"" Dave shows off the renovated Ed Sullivan Theater and chats with Bill Murray.

Robin Williams, John Mellencamp, Jonathan Estrata

Dave's worst moment on last night's debut: his fake tooth fell out (the video is repeated several times in slow motion); a four-year-old geography expert and cheese lover names states on a U.S. map.

Demi Moore, Bev Tanner, Spin Doctors

A very pregnant Demi Moore is given the honor of throwing the first pencil through the backdrop windows of the Late Show.

Martin Short, Cyndi Lauper

The ghost of Ed Sullivan (who haunts Dave throughout the first week) introduces a plate spinner; Andy Dick makes his first appearance as ""Donnie, the CBS Page Who Likes To Suck Up.""

Debra Winger, Soul Asylum

Dave has fun with a car phone, calling in bogus traffic reports to 1010 WINS radio; Casey Kasem presents ""Top Ten Favorite Numbers Between 1 and 10;"" after showing a clip from an old ""Wonder Woman"" episode, Debra Winger strips to her old Wonder Girl outfit.

Richard Lewis, Shawn Bouroughs, Midnight Oil

Dave continues pestering locals with the new hands-free car phone: WINS radio, a car wash, Dial-a-Mattress and Jackson Hole Restaurant, where he orders pancakes.

Michael J. Fox, Rosie Perez

Al Gore, Kim Basinger, Chris Isaak

Ellen Barkin, Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, Lenny Kravitz

Dave takes a cab to help out at Yankee Stadium and later makes fun of Tony Randall; Lenny Kravitz performs ""Are You Gonna Go My Way.""

Siskel & Ebert, Robert Plant

Bruce Willis, Steven Wright

Paul Reiser, Mike Ditka, John Hiatt

The Mars Observer crashes into the studio; Mike Ditka promotes ""NFL on NBC;"" John Hiatt performs ""Perfectly Good Guitar.""

Jeff Goldblum, Louie Anderson, Jerry Garcia & David Grisman

Jerry Garcia sits in with the band; Dave makes several jokes at the expense of Yassir Arafat.

Bonnie Hunt, Latrisha Baldrick, Patti Smyth

Super Dave Osborne, Laura Dern, Stone Temple Pilots

Sarah Jessica Parker, Jim Abbot, Patty Scialfa

Robert Urich, Ellen Degeneres, Tim Tomasic

David Sanborn sits in with the band; Dave does part of the show from his ""house"" in Connecticut.

Tony Randall, Elizabeth Perkins, Aaron Neville

Mike Myers, John Kruk, Belinda Carlisle

Glenn Close, James Taylor

Matthew Broderick, Julie Krone, Neil Diamond

Jimmy Carter, Brett Butler, Daniel Boulud

Jerry Lewis, Sparky Mortimer, Rod Stewart

Ed Sullivan's ghost introduces juggler ""Andy Head;"" Paul & the CBSO play Jerry Lewis out with the coda from Count Basie's ""April In Paris"" (a Lewis signature tune); Dave gives Jerry his take on ""Beavis and Butt-head,"" then Jerry runs around the set and gooses a cameraman; budding sports reporter Sparky Mortimer makes his first appearance; Rod Stewart performs.

Lily Tomlin, Adam Sandler, Mike Lupica

Andie MacDowell, Graham Parker, Bill Scheft

Sylvester Stallone, Melissa Etheridge, Janeane Garofalo

Dave's high-rise buddy Meg Parsont (at a different building) makes her first and only appearance on CBS -- giving a description of her boyfriend Tony to a police sketch artist.

Isabella Rossellini, Bob Saget, Johnny Cash

Johnny Cash sings ""Don't Take Your Guns to Town.""

Candice Bergen, John Mendoza

Dave looks at new books for fall; Andy Dick returns as ""Donnie ... the CBS Page Who Likes to Suck Up.""

Don Rickles, Tracey Ullman, Johnny Cash

Connie Chung, Mary Chapin Carpenter

""Celebrities in the Audience"" makes its first appearance on the new show, as guests from previous shows are introduced in the crowd -- Glenn Close, Sylvester Stallone, Jerry Lewis, Jimmy Carter, Siskel & Ebert and Bob Borden.

Kathie Lee Gifford, Matt Dillon

Stupid Pet Tricks, Howard Stern, Rosanne Cash

Kirstie Alley, Rick Ocasek, Jeff Colton

David Brenner, Gloria Estefan, Sean Young

Tom Arnold, Rich Hall, Jon Weiss

Dennis Miller, Tony Bennett, Sandra Bullock

David Steinberg, Emmylou Harris, Bo Jackson

Dan Rather, Penelope Ann Miller, Gin Blossoms

Bob Newhart, Guru, Chloe Disker

Martin Mull, The Pogues, Jean Louie

Sean Connery, Jake Johannsen, Fran Drescher

Phil Donahue, Art Garfunkel, Lenny Dykstra, Paul Molitor

Marv Albert, Cindy Crawford, Natalie Cole

George Foreman, INXS & Ray Charles

Martin Lawrence, Phil Collins

Jay Thomas, Squeeze, Martha Stewart

Terry Garr, Paul Simon

Mike Wallace, Jimmy Cliff, Faith Ford

Annie Potts, Natalie Merchant, Dorothy Nash

Natalie Merchant - ""Because the Night""

Tony Curtis, The Breeders, Calvin Trillian

Michael Keaton, Barbara Walters

Evander Holyfield, Phil Hartman, The BoDeans

Mary Tyler Moore, Jackson Browne, Rita Rudner

Mary Tyler Moore treats Late Show viewers to a video clip of Dave from her 1978 variety show, ""Mary,"" in which she smashes a grapefruit in Dave's face. Also, Dave, Biff, Gaines, Anton and Laurie Diamond get their teeth cleaned.

Tom Selleck, Pete Townsend

Barry Bonds, Carol Kane, Living Colour

Sinbad, Trisha Yearwood, Charlie Sheen

Billy Crystal, Los Lobos

Billy Connolly, Bob Dylan, Charles Kuralt

Dana Carvey, Meatloaf, Joan Cusak

Marilu Henner, Heart, Father Guido Sarducci

""Meet the Neighbors,"" conclusion: The outside cam goes to K & L's Rock America to see Mujibur Rahman and Sirajul Islam, and Dave has them round up Bart Dadon, Fern Chapnick, Rupert Jee, Alexandra Mitsakis and Charlie Levy from the nearby stores and businesses.

Robert Klein, Cowboy Junkies, Bobby Knight

Bryant Gumbel, Taylor Dayne, Dave Attel

Penn & Teller, Dwight Yoakam, Gabriel Byrne

Throughout the night, Calvert reports from the parade; as he does every year, Dave guesses what pies his mother made this Thanksgiving; Gabriel Byrne plugs ""Point of No Return.""

Kelsey Grammar, Patrick Ewing, Warren Zevon

James Belushi, Carlene Carter, Lauren Holley

In ""Bad Phone Call,"" Dave calls the father of Michelle Polikas to tell him she's living with Bob Howard. Also, Dave takes two suckers away from Angel the camera man, and he gives them to Bob and Michelle.

Robin Williams, Larry Johnson

Mandy Patinkin drops by (along with Tony Randall), and asks for rehearsal time. Before Dave gets a chance to say no, Mandy and the CBS Orchestra perform a fully-arranged ""Rockabye Your Baby.""

Sam Donaldson, Mike Myers, Nanci Griffith

Jeremy Irons, Bruce Hornsby

Dave buys Paul a fake Rolex off the street; Chris Elliott is on hand for the world premiere of his surrealist art film ""The Traveling Poet.""

Charles Grodin, Bryan Adams, Jack Hannah

Sally Field, Carly Simon, Robert Duvall

Larry King, The Band, Kevin Pollack

Luciano Pavarotti, Marisa Tomei, Wayne Cotter

Tom Hanks, Gipsy Kings, Joan Plowright

Rush Limbaugh, Harry Connick Jr.

Dave visits some handwriting analysts; Rush Limbaugh promotes his new book.

Whoopi Goldberg, Clint Black, John Witherspoon

Will Smith, The Lemonheads, Emmit Smith

Bob Costas, Toni Braxton, Debi Mazar

Dennis Franz, Mike Judge, Andy Williams

Joan Lunden, Ian Moore, Wendy Wasserstein

Jason Priestly, Terry Bradshaw, Norm MacDonald

Bonnie Hunt, Tony Toni Tone, Dennis Rogers

Dave comments on FOX taking away CBS' NFL coverage; strongman Dennis ""Mighty Mite"" Rogers lifts weights.

Julia Roberts, Cracker, Wolfgang Puck

Rosanne and Tom Arnold, Jon Bon Jovi

Jane Pauley, Art Donavan

Beau Bridges, Sandra Bernhard, 4 Non Blondes

Rosie O'Donnell, Lou Reed, Neil Patrick Harris

Chris Elliot, Itzhak Perlman, Cokie Roberts

Chris Elliott performs the title song from ""Cabaret;"" legendary violinist Itzhak Perlman follows with a rendition of ""Danse Espagnole."" After Perlman's performance, Dave wants to go backstage and slap Chris.

Martin Mull, Drew Carey, Dana Delany

Rudolph Giuliani, Faith Hill, Ricki Lake

Troy Aikman, Marilyn Horne, Jon Stewart

The ghost of Ed Sullivan introduces trampoline star Tom Boleen; Troy Aikman throws footballs into cabs on Broadway, and later, from a trampoline.

Smothers Brothers, Indigo Girls, Sara McClendan

George Carlin, Urge Overkill, Jan Hooks

George Carlin promotes his new sitcom; Calvert drops by as ""The Guy Who Thinks Dave's Name is Randy.""

Chevy Chase, George Miller, Halle Berry

Richard Harris, Taj Mahal & Etta James, David Spade

David Brenner, Travis Tritt, Madeline Stowe

Kathie Lee Gifford, Aaron Neville, Bruno Kirby

Dave gets dragged by a cab; the cast of ""Cats"" runs into the Ed Sullivan Theater to take a bow.

Demi Moore, Willie Nelson & Shelby Lynne, Al Franken

Dan Rather, Dave Pirner & Victoria Williams, Brett Hull

Jimmy Johnson, Martin Lawrence, Concrete Blonde

Concrete Blonde – ""Mexican Moon""

Tom Brokaw, Julie Cavner, Joshua Catheson

Aidan Quinn, Crowded House, Michael Lamonaco

Dave comments on the upcoming Winter Olympics in Norway; staff members Debbie Drimmer, Rick Scheckman and John Beckerman tell all about their vacations last week.

Sarah Jessica Parker, Jerry Van Dyke

Ellen Barkin, Peter Frampton, Amanda Archaleta

Peter Frampton sits in; Dave discusses Clinton's health care plan with a group of cab drivers; seven-year-old sheep handler Amanda Archiletta does an on-stage demonstration.

Walter Cronkite, Natalie Merchant

Alec Baldwin, Blues Traveler, Norman Vaughn

Dan Aykroyd, Anna Klempsey, Peter Arnette

Siskel & Ebert, Daryl Hall, Muggsy Bogues

Steven Seagal, Salt N Peppa, Johnathan Soloman

Super Dave Osborne, Brad Privott

Richard Simmons

James - ""Laid""

Regis Philbin, Richard Thompson, Ben Stiller

Throughout the night, champion canines from the Westminster Dog Show walk across the stage; Dorothy does a little shopping in Lillehammer.

Phil Hartman, George Benson, Michael Madsen

Dorothy interviews Tommy Moe; Phil Hartman promotes Greedy.

Bebe Neuwirth, Jackson Browne

David Sanborn sits in with the band; Dave surveys residents of Scotch Plains, NJ about the Olympics; Bebe Neuwirth promotes ""Damn Yankees"" and her anticipated guest appearance on ""Frasier.""

Sinbad, UB40, Luke Perry

Dave proposes marriage on behalf of an audience member; UB40 performs ""Higher Ground.""

Marv Albert, Sinead O'Connor, Ricky Jay

Stupid Human Tricks, Wynonna Judd, Laurence Fishburne

Two guys pretending to be Dave and Paul ice skate; Laurence Fishburne promotes Searching for Bobby Fischer.

Brett Butler, Linda Rondstat, Don Imus

Michael J. Fox, Spin Doctors & Roger Daltrey

Dorothy recaps her two weeks in Lillehammer; Michael J. Fox promotes Greedy.

Gary Shandling, Sting, Nigel Mansell

Dan Jansen, Dennis Miller, Meatloaf

John Larroquette, Bonnie Raitt, Jerry Butler, & Ben E. King, Jennifer Jason Leigh

Geena Davis, Aerosmith

Anthony Hopkins, ZZ Top, Dennis Leary

Alan King, Aretha Franklin

Jay Thomas, Crash Test Dummies, Kevin Spacey

Richard Harris, Carol King, Ron Howard

Bill Cosby, Sheryl Crow

Dave shows an anonymous gift (Jonathan Estrada, maybe?) of a block of cheese shaped like Oklahoma. Also, up-and-coming singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow performs ""Leaving Las Vegas.""

Diane Sawyer, John Michael Montgomery, Elle MacPherson

Ten cabbies present the Top Ten; Diane Sawyer sneaks in footage of Dave from his weatherman days; Chris Elliott shows a clip from his new movie ""Poolside Ecstasy.""

Kevin Kline, Placido Domingo

""New Pharmaceuticals"" include ""Hot 'n' Spicy Tylenol,"" ""L'eggs Metal Pipe Resistant Pantyhose,"" and ""Nipsey's Own Anti-Bacterial Ointment."" Regis interrupts the segment to tell Dave he's not even trying anymore. Also, during her annual Oscars special, Barbara Walters makes Dave cry.

Bob Saget, Tori Amos, John Waters

New York native Gurnek Basanti drives his cab into the theater; Dave devours an entire tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

Thea Vidal, Stomp, Buck Henry

Dave brags about the birth of his nephew; Buck Henry promotes his new book.

Martin Short, Sammy Hagar, Mary Stuart Masterson

""Can a Guy in a Bear Suit Get into the Hard Rock Cafe?"" Apparently, he can do it with ease, but ""Can a Guy in a Bear Suit Get into the Russian Tea Room?"" Without hesitation, our hero gets a table for one.

Madonna, Counting Crows

Dave watches a live feed of himself watching the show at home while he's taping the show in the theater. Shots include toasting waffles, crying to Kenny Rogers music, milking a goat, and bothering Dan Rather. Also, Madonna drops by to plug her new album, spews profanities with aplomb, then refuses to leave.

Charles Grodin, Elvis Costello & The Attractions

A day after Madonna arouses/grosses out the American viewing public by, among other things, offering Dave her underwear, Charles Grodin comes on the show tonight to offer his. Later, musical guest Elvis Costello and the Attractions perform ""13 Steps Lead Down,"" and the nerd-rocker gives Dave his sock.

Bob Uecker, Cheap Trick, Michael McKean

Dave can't seem to remove his shoe, and with no shoehorn available, he runs outside and asks a cab driver to run over his foot.

Ted Koppel, Wynton Marsalis, Carrie Fisher

Andie MacDowell, Rich Hall, Matt Kramer

Paul Newman jumps out of the audience, claiming to take a powder when he learns that Madonna won't be on. Instead, he walks across Broadway to see Cats.

Kirstie Alley, Boz Scaggs, Calvin Trillian

Shortly after a baseball-themed Top Ten, Dave goes on a brief rant about how overpaid the players are.

Tom Brokaw, Blind Melon, Julie Brown

Tonight marks the Late Show debut of ""The Strong Guy, the Fat Guy, the Genius,"" which pits three men of said traits against each other in various undertakings. Of the three rounds of play, they each win one competition.

Don Rickles, Jeff Stearns, Liz Phair

Mujibur and Sirajul make a visit to Mickey the barber, and they promptly receive free haircuts. Soon afterwards, Don Rickles goes in for a trim. Also, Liz Phair (in her first appearance on the show) performs ""Never Said.""

Jack Lemmon, Lyle Lovett & Al Green

""Rejected FDA Items"" include Medicated Pringles, Tic-Tacs with Real Ticks and Tacks, Deodorant with Raisins, Milk with Adjustable Dates, and Madonna Soap; Lyle Lovett and Al Green perform ""Funny How Time Slips Away.""

Dennis Hopper, Jessye Norman, Uta Pippig

During Mailbag, Dave discusses a certain much-publicized divorce with ""Roseanne Arnold"" (Gerard). Later, he chats with Boston Marathon winner Uta Pippig.

Ellen DeGeneres, Raquel Welch, Candlebox

Dave names Jimmy Johnson as the new head coach of the show; Ellen DeGeneres promotes ""These Friends of Mine.""

Tom Snyder, Ray Liotta

Future Dave lead-in Tom Snyder promotes his new (and ultimately doomed) Larry King-style cable talk show.

Father Guido Sarducci, Reba McEntire, Pierre Frene

Dave notices an empty seat in the third row, so he brings in a guy from outside to fill it.

Joan Lunden, Gin Blossoms, Michael Moore

Dave finds a stray blue card on his desk and returns it to Regis and Kathie Lee. Also, Gin Blossoms perform ""Hey Jealousy.""

Jerry Seinfeld, Brian Setzer Orchestra, Norm Abram

Donny Osmond and Calvert star in the Late Show's version of the Menendez Brothers' life story.

Sissy Spacek, Bonnie Raitt, Daniel Low

Dave tries to wake up and gets soaked with Gatorade; Tony Randall helps Mandy Patinkin practice a musical number; Dave ""grills"" seven-year-old hole expert Daniel Lowe.

Joe Pesci, Randy Travis, Dan Wilkinson

Dave harasses hotel doormen, and later he chats with NFL draft pick Dan Wilkinson.

Jerry Van Dyke, The Neville Brothers

The outside cam heads to Times Square, during which Dave invites passerby Amy Butler in to co-host. Later in the show, Dave and Amy reflect on the wonderful weather (he's really just flirting with her).

Robin Williams, Big Head Todd & The Monsters, Mark Leyner

Dave gets a parking ticket; Robin Williams promotes ""Comic Relief VI.""

Mia Farrow, Tim McGraw, Jimmie Walker

Throughout the night, we have an assortment of ""Happy Endings,"" providing a satisfying coda to unusual situations. Also, Dave shows a sample of the new ""Caning Strength Bufferin.""

Brett Butler, Rob Lowe, Sarah McLachlan

Dave brings out 70 cases of Gatorade that were received after the stunt in Show #149. Later, he goes up to his office to watch the CBS Evening News.

Sharon Stone, Chris Farley

Dave discusses politics with a bunch of cabbies; Chris Farley demonstrates his physically demanding comedy routine; Sharon Stone waltzes with one of the cabbies.

Billy Crystal, Ray Charles

Dave takes his show to LA for the first time since 1985. Dave throws a pencil into a wading pool that's behind his desk, and a dog retrieves it. Dave then gets into the pool to give the pencil to the dog. Later, another pencil is retrieved from the pool by Billy Crystal; ""Mayor Richard Riordan"" (Calvert) presents the Top Ten; Ray Charles performs ""What'd I Say?""

Michael Keaton, Angela Lansbury

L.A., Day 2: Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda is seen gulping down Slim-Fast; Dodgers pitchers Orel Hershiser, Roger McDowell, Tom Candiotti and Jim Gott hurl fastballs toward the camera.

James Cahn, David Copperfield, Julia Louis-Dreyfus

LA, Day 3: Dave ends the show early, and then flies back to New York. Paul finds him working the cashier at K&L Rock America, so they bring Mujibur and Sirajul to CBS Television City. Also, Richard Simmons sabotages the Top Ten list because he thinks it's insulting.

Candice Bergen, Elvis Costello & The Attractions, Magic Johnson

L.A., Day 4: It's time for ""Los Angeles Souvenirs,"" including a Fabio Lawn Gnome, Record Industry Weasel Magazine, and a Honk-If-You've-Slept-with-Madonna bumper sticker. ""Madonna"" (Calvert) walks by to tell Dave he's/she's offended, and slaps him.

Bette Midler, Traffic

A very special guest presents the Top Ten (see recap); Bette Midler performs ""Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.""

Heather Locklear, Travis Tritt, Harvey Pekar

Travis Tritt performs ""Foolish Pride,"" while Harvey Pekar actually censors himself, much to Dave's chagrin.

Jeff Goldblum, Sonic Youth, James Carville

Dave finally has his photos from LA developed, and an audience guys helps him display the photos on the Times Square Jumbotron. Later in the show, all of tonight's guests (Slash, James Carville, and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth) also have their photos taken for the Jumbotron.

Stupid Pet Tricks, Carol Burnett, Emmylou Harris

It's time for more celebrities in the audience, including Michael J. Fox, Jerry Seinfeld, Paul Shaffer, Kathie Lee Gifford, and Bill Cobsy. Also, Carol Burnett promotes her made-for-TV movie Seasons of the Heart.

Barbara Walters, Mariah Carey

Dave quizzes the audience on last week's trip to LA.

Eddie Murphy, Tony Bennett, Wayne Cotter

Dave freshens up by walking outside the theater, towards a hot dog vendor, and washing his face in the dirty hot dog water. Also, Creepy Dave drops by annoy Dave again: ""What's up?""

Rick Moranis, Jimmy Buffett, Stefan Seville

Dave makes another bad phone call for an audience member; Rick Moranis promotes The Flintstones, and his interview is interrupted by co-star John Goodman; Tony cleans Dave's desk.

Woody Harrelson, Louie Anderson, Isaiah Thomas

Dave is missing his opening ""billboard"" card with tonight's guests listed on them, so he leaves the theater, goes to the NBC Nightly News studio and gets it from a confused Tom Brokaw.

Kevin Pollak, Chris Isaak, Jacques Pepin

Dave finds a sports reporter from Indianapolis outside and invites him in; Dave launches ""Top Ten Plus,"" the quicker and more efficient Top Ten list; after Dave mocks a magazine with the headline ""Sweat with Fabio,"" the male model drops a sandbag on the desk, and Dave throws him out of the theater.

Rosie O'Donnell, Laurie Morgan, Bronson Pinchot

Jets take off at JFK Airport; Rosie O'Donnell promotes The Flintstones.

The Pretenders, Daniel Stern

Dave helps Nancy Agostini find an apartment in the city; The Pretenders perform ""Night in My Veins.""

Reggie Miller, Spike Lee, Tony Randall, Tony Toni Tone

Dave escorts the Stand-by Audience (all 40 of 'em) to a restaurant a few blocks away from the Ed Sullivan Theater. He later invites sailors in the audience to visit FlashDancers across the street.

Craig T. Nelson, David Sanborn, Al Unser Jr.

Dave hands out ""Warning Label"" props to the audience; another ""CBS Special Report"" finds Alan Richardson reporting on his socks.

Mariel Hemmingway, George Miller, Mandy Patinkin

Dave's coffee is cold, so he goes out and warms it himself with a taxi battery; George Miller comments on today's solar eclipse; Dave picks a dead fly off his sport coat.

Macaulay Culkin, Randy Newman, Mona Frey

An audience member plays a staged version of ""The Price is Right,"" and wins a can of flour. Also, Michael Buffer fills in for Billy Wendell, announcing tonight's guests (not to mention Paul and the flour guy) with his distinct baritone.

David Brenner, Johnny Cash, Keanu Reeves

Mujibur and Sirajul begin their Coast-to-Coast Tour, leaving NYC on a private jet; Keanu Reeves promotes Speed; Dave interviews David Brenner about his new radio show, and oddly enough, Dave will be David's first guest on his radio show premiere the next day.

Jeremy Irons, Chris Rock, Hakeem Olajuwon

On their first leg of the Coast-to-Coast Tour, Mujibur and Sirajul report from Niagra Falls, saluting the US flag. Paul says the idea ""looked great on paper."" Also, Dave chats with Hakeem Olajuwon of the NBA Champion Houston Rockets.

Ted Danson, David Byrne, Carl Reiner

Dave selects two audience members to receive tickets to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Marv Albert hands out the tickets and shows a hockey blooper.

Show #0178

Three members of the 1994 Stanley Cup Champion New York Rangers drop by, and later they let Morty take a picture of the Cup.

Jon Lovitz, Sandra Bullock, Spin Doctors

Jon Lovitz laments the demise of ""The Critic;"" Sandra Bullock promotes Speed.

Teri Garr, Yes

Stone Temple Pilots – ""Vasoline""

Fran Drescher, Jack Palance, Seal

Dan Rather, Nicholas Turturro, Al Jarreau, Kathleen Battle

Julia Roberts, Stone Temple Pilots, Jake Johannsen

After a technical error prevents it from being performed the previous night, Dave presents the rest of the ""NBA Finals Quiz."" Now feeling a little queasy due to all the stress of the past two nights, Dave points out that he has a body double that will stand in for him when the time comes for him to get medical attention. Also, Dan Rather sings ""Wreck of the Old 97.""

Howard Stern, Kate Nelligan, John Mellencamp

John Mellencamp – ""Wild Night""

Siskel & Ebert, Tom Jones, Sam Cassell, Trisha Yearwood

On their latest stop, Mujibur and Sirajul get serenaded by Tom Jones in Las Vegas. Wondering who's been operating K&L Rock America while they've been gone, Dave finds Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert running the shop in their place.

Penelope Ann Miller, Barbara Streisand, Mary Matalin, Tori Amos

Barbra Streisand walks on the set and gives Dave two tickets to her show at Radio City Music Hall. Dave gives them away to a woman in the audience.

Daniel Boulud, Helen Hunt, Green Day

""Coast to Coast with Mujibur and Sirajul"" -- tonight, they're fly-fishing in Madison Valley, Montana, with their teaching guide, Craig.

Siskel & Ebert, Andrea Martin, Indigo Girls

In a spoof of Home Shopping Network, Dave sells ""Dave and Paul Collection Plates,"" giving out the phone number of head writer Rob Burnett. Also, Dave invites Megan and Tim, a couple from Kansas City, in from the storm, gives them towels to dry off, and offers them seats by the spiral stairway, where they stay throughout the show.

Connie Chung, Phil Collins

Neil Diamond, Richard Simmons

Dave takes a cue card from Tony Mendez, re-reads a joke and then has the cue card passed around the audience. Later, Calvert DeForest dresses up as Barbra Streisand and performs ""The Way We Were,"" and guest Richard Simmons sings a patriotic medley.

Patrick Stewart, Ryan Cobb, Melissa Etheridge

Show #0192

Dave leaves the show after the monologue and heads upstairs to read Wresting Magazine with his face in a mud mask, and Paul retrieves him. Later, famed soccer commentator Andres Cantor repeats his most famous line to Dave: ""ggoooooooooaaaaaaallllll!""

Tom Hanks, Toad the Wet Sprocket

The Runaway Camera is roaming the streets of New York City, getting squeegied, hit by a bike, down a manhole, running into Rupert Jee, and going into ""Cats"" and ""Flashdancers."" Later, in dueling clips, Dave shows embarassing clips of Tom Hanks from ""The Love Boat,"" ""Taxi,"" and ""Happy Days."" Tom retaliates with an embarassing clip of Dave from ""Mork and Mindy.""

Harry Connick, Jr., Michael Lomonaco, Pete Sampras, Catherine O'Hara

Buzz Aldrin, Susan Sarandon, Midnight Oil

Dave returns to outside the Today Show set and displays his sign: ""Happy 100th Birthday, Willard""; in honor of the 25th anniversary of the moon landing, we see Dave accomplishing the same feat; Midnight Oil performs ""Sometimes.""

Gary Sinise, Ricki Lake, Julio Iglesias

Ricki Lake promotes her supporting role in the upcoming Cabin Boy; Gary Sinise plugs Forrest Gump.

Show #0197

""Can a Guy in a Bear Suit Say Hello on a N. Y. C. Pay Phone?"" The answer? Mais oui! Also, one of the all-time great Stupid Pet Tricks makes a triumphant return when Kevin Dechico and his dog ""Air Buddy"" shoot hoops onstage.

Show #0198

Cold opening: Kenny Rogers tells Dave when to hold ‘um and when to fold ‘um. Dave also stops the show midway through to just kick back in his chair and relax, then reflect on the show thus far.

Show #0199

Show #0200

Dave fills up a pothole outside the studio with joke cards; Jim Carrey's limo is towed away.

Show #0201

The pothole Dave filled up with blue joke cards the previous night is sealed by none other then Mayor Guiliani; the pothole is danced upon by several fabulous babes performing Rockette-style kicks; Gin Blossoms and Kiss perform ""Christine Sixteen.""

Show #0202

A severed head perks out of the pothole; a doctor stands in the backdrop in case Dave suddenly becomes sick during the show; Sirajul asks a group of fishermen in South Dakota what they think of hometown boy Tom Brokaw.

Show #0203

Dave comments on Tony's cue card work, then makes a bad phone call for an audience member with mother issues.

Show #0204

Show #0205

Show #0206

Dave attends the Whitewater Hearings; up-and-coming starlet Cameron Diaz promotes ""The Mask""; Dave finally chats with Stevie Nicks (whose manager Dave criticized several years before).

Show #0207

The show is interrupted all night long by (bogus) CBS News special reports by anchor Alan Richardson, who sings, is beaten up by a bus driver, pitches Mountain Dew and swears about the prime lending rate.

Show #0208

After Dave sings a horrible rendition of ""Oklahoma,"" Paul demands to hear a better version. Soon after, John and Bonnie Raitt come on stage to show Dave how it's done.

Show #0209

Show #0210

Dave and model Inna Mirovich toss back some vodka. Later, Howard Stern admits that he had to drop out of the New York governor's race because he refused to reveal his yearly income.

Show #0211

Show #0212

Dave looks at ""What's On Other Channels;"" the Smothers Brothers perform.

Show #0213

Show #0214

Show #0215

Show #0216

Rupert brings soup to tonight's guests; Dave reflects on the Michael Jackson-Lisa Marie Presley wedding.

Show #0217

Show #0218

Show #0219