The New Dick Van Dyke Show Season 3, Episode 16: Balzac, Come Home

Those Who Care

30 min

Dennis Takes a Wife

Dennis is quite taken with a photo seen at Dick and Jenny's house, one of an attractive guest of theirs. Dennis is positive they are meant to be together and proceeds to act foolishly.

30 min

One of the Boys

Dick takes stock of his life and concludes he doesn't have enough male time. Dick decides to join the guys for their weekly poker game but winning and losing amongst friends leads to hard feelings.

30 min

Dick in Deutsch

Dick receives the unpleasant news that he's wanted for a legal matter in Germany. In flashback, Dick explains to his friends how a free trip to Europe took an unexpected direction, landing him in trouble.

30 min

Mrs. Ferguson

A fan of Dick's character has a difficult time distinguishing between his actual life and his television one.

30 min

I'll Cry Today

Dick reschedules a dentist appointment to babysit so Jenny can go on a job interview.

30 min

The Young Surgeons

Dick recalls the time he had a small role on Medical Center, in which he played a doctor, and how bad he was in it.

30 min

She Kisses Like a Dead Mackerel

A columnist reports that temperamental actress Margot Brighton has less than ideal kissing skills. Margot decides Dick and Jenny are responsible for the information and they feel her wrath.

30 min

Preston al Naturale

An Italian director meets Dick and thinks he would be perfect as the lead in his film. Dick is excited about the possibility until the script reveals he'll have a nude scene with a beautiful actress.

30 min

Turning Pro

Lucas visits his parents and has some interesting plans: he's leaving school to become a professional bowler.

30 min

Exit Laughing

Dick's favorite uncle, the black sheep of the family, drops in for an unexpected visit and unexpectedly drops dead. Twice. Dick arranges the "fun funeral" his uncle requested.

30 min

What Your Best Friend Doesn't Know

Dick's old friend can't memorize his lines.

30 min

Mr. Dazzle

Dick has a chance to do a commercial that pays well and could lead to other jobs, but it's a cheesy ad for a toilet bowl cleaner.

30 min

He Who Steals My Friends

Dick and Jenny are happy to introduce their new friends the Eliots to neighbors the Richardsons. But the Prestons become much less glad when it appears the other couples are socializing without Dick and Jenny.

30 min

The Back Break Kid

Dick hurts his back doing a stunt with a young actor Tash who is trying to prove how virile he is.

30 min

The Hickey

Dennis' girlfriend, Pamela, is being written out of the show and, as a parting gift, leaves all the men with hickeys. Pamela is also friendly with Tash, so Dick and Max suspect they are romantically involved.

30 min

House Guests

Company comes and stays and stays and stays, and tempers start to flare.

30 min

The Pregnancy

When Jenny thinks she might be pregnant, Dick has a dream that he and the guys at work are the ones expecting.

30 min

Man of Medicine

Dick quits his job when a shady producer promises him the lead in a show that hasn't been sold yet.

30 min

Commercial Housewives

TV commercial producer Herbie Vincent overhears Jenny and Connie rave about a product. He asks the two friends to repeat the endorsement for a television commercial he's creating.

30 min

A Fake Matisse Is Better Than a Real Anzelowitz

After learning what they believed to be a valuable is a fake Dick and his wife become suspicious when they are offered a considerable amount of money for the art.

30 min

We Met at Mama Lombardi's

This flashback episode tells the story of how Dick and Jenny met and how they almost ended up hating one another.

30 min

Lt. Preston of the 4th Cavalry

Annie accidentally walks in on her parents while they are making love.

30 min