Boon Season 6, Episode 14: The Night Before Christmas

Help Me Make It Through The Night

Ken is in the process of moving into a derelict house in the village of Upper Ridley. He has arranged with the owner that he will live there rent-free in exchange for renovating it. John Pritchard approaches Harry and wants CBS to provide security guards for the launch of his new health club. He wants the guards to wear tracksuits, which he will provide, so they will blend in with the punters. Harry promotes Rocky to ""executive"" and gives him the task of employing suitable college students: no mean feat when all the tracksuits are extra small! One of the students, Vicky ""Mouthpiece"", gives Rocky a hard time, quoting the Factory and Sex Discrimination Acts as she attempts to do as little work as possible. However Rocky soon puts her in her place. John Dewar, the owner of a dairy, suspects that his wife, Melissa, may be having an affair and asks Ken to investigate. Ken is reluctant to do so, firstly because he wants to get on with moving into his new house and secondly because he hates w

60 min

Two Men in a Vault

Ken and Harry call in on the spur of the moment to check Don Jakes, the security guard that they have employed at a safety deposit company, Unicorn Deposit Ltd. While searching for him, they walk into the vault. The door swings shut and an unknown person locks it behind them, trapping them inside. Ken and Harry see that the vault has been ransacked and that the cable for the security camera has been cut. They realise that they will probably be trapped all weekend. They think that Don might have been attacked, which is why he can't rescue them. Don leaves the vault and meets his Scottish girlfriend, Billie. They have stolen the contents of the vault and are planning to run away together to Argentina. Ken had arranged to meet Laura, who is getting obscene phone calls at home. When he doesn't turn up and she can't contact either him or Harry, she gets very worried. She and Rocky start to investigate. Don's wife, Jeanette, becomes suspicious when she sees Don with Billie, who is her hairdr

60 min

Trial and Error

Ken and Harry are involved in a court case, giving evidence against a landlord, Michael Roach who is accused of terrorising his tenants into leaving his houses. Some time ago, Ken had been employed by George and May Jenkins, and Aziz Hussain, Roach's tenants who live on a run-down estate. Jimmy Craven, one of Roach's thugs, had forced his way into the Jenkins' flat and vandalised the furniture, with the George and Mabel looking on in horror. When their neighbour, Aziz Hussain, had tried to intervene, he was beaten up. Roach was clearly behind the attacks: he wanted to redevelop the land on which the flats stood and had resorted to violent tactics after the more subtle approach (eg refusing to carry out repairs) had failed to work. The Jenkins and Hussains wanted Ken to gather evidence that Roach was paying Jimmy Craven. Ken and Rocky waited outside a pub that Craven was known to frequent, and photographed Roach handing over a large envelope of cash. But they were spotted and Craven and

60 min

Coverup

Ken makes a start on renovating Orchard Cottage. Pam Strong, one of his neighbours and the widow of a fireman, tentatively asks him for help because her son John has changed suddenly: he has dropped out of college, become sullen and uncommunicative and has started locking himself in his room. She also suspects that he may be stealing from her. Something is wrong - could it be drugs, Pam wonders. John has become friendly with another teenager called Mark who rents room at a nearby farm. Mark and John steal a car and drive around, terrifying the locals. The car hits a man and woman on a bridge, but Mark drives on, dumping the car in a quarry and swearing John to silence. But John later recognises the man that was knocked down as a local doctor, James Harlon. It was Harlon who got John his part-time job as a porter at the hospital. Ken visits Dr Harlon, not realising that connection with John and the accident. Dr Harlon describes John as quiet and a bit of a loner, but not the sort to be

60 min

The Barefaced Contessa

A mother and daughter, Jean and Isabella di Cesare, are staging a fashion show on board a boat and taking money for the dresses that they are exhibiting. But they have no intention of delivering - it is all a scam. They are also planning to stitch up Ken. CBS are proving the security at a charity antiques auction at Kedleston Hall in Derbyshire. Ken is expecting Jean to arrive soon. Jean is one of Ken's old flames: Harry's ex-wife had once described them as ""the Siamese twins - joined at the lips"". However Jean left Ken ten years ago and later married an Italian Count, Vincenzo di Cesare. Jean and Isabella are being followed by a scruffy man in an even scruffier car. Jean tells Ken that she has recently left the Count because he was beating her up. She bought her sports car with the money that she took when she left the Count, but now he is claiming that the car belongs to him. He wants it back and is threatening to get violent. Isabella is also being followed by Enzo, a ""lovesick Ital

60 min

Lie of the Land

CBS have been employed to guard the pheasants in a wood owned by Lord Melverley of Whitley Hall, in preparation for the annual Shoot on the day of the Feast of Mortimer. Lord Melverley is worried about hunt saboteurs. When Ken is on his way to join Rocky and Laura in the wood, he discovers an old Morris Minor Traveller van parked nearby, with a shotgun in the back. Could it belong to the saboteurs. The following day, his bike breaks down outside the church. The vicar, Rev Peter Bradshaw, is a keen bike enthusiast and mechanic, and gets the bike going again. He happens to mention that he also maintains the van, a Morris Traveller, belonging to Ralph Cotterell, the former gamekeeper. Lord Melverley sacked Cotterell recently after twenty-five years and Cotterell is now reduced to working as part-time groundsman for a nearby school. Ken talks to Cotterell who is indeed very bitter about the way that he was sacked, in connection with an incident when sheep belonging to a neighbour, Chris Sh

60 min

Lost on the Range

A prize stallion goes missing while Ken and his faithful posse are called upon to provide security for some local stables.

60 min

Pillow Talk

Harry is employed by a lawyer, Caroline Mortlake, to protect her and her 16-year-old daughter Emma. Caroline and Emma are being pestered by a main in a raincoat. He is a reporter, Bill Webster, who works for the local newspaper. Bill's boss, Eddie Morgan, is determined to ""get that woman"". Harry gets Rocky to look after Emma, ferrying her around on his motorbike. Emma takes an instant fancy to Rocky and tries every trick in the book to get him into compromising situations. However he is rather embarrassed by her attentions. He asks Laura to help him fend off Emma by pretending to be his girlfriend. Laura has a quiet word with Emma who immediately leaves Rocky alone. The real reason for this only emerges much later. Bill is watching outside Caroline's office, determined to get his story. His car has been sabotaged by having its brake pipes cut. He storms off to CBS, accusing Ken of being responsible. Ken and Harry confront Caroline and ask her why exactly she is being pursued by Bill. S

60 min

Cab Rank Cowboys

Ken discovers that it is hard to find a cab when you need one, particularly when a thief has the same idea.

60 min

Houseguests

Harry is taken for a ride when he accepts a job minding a country mansion and discovers uninvited guests in his flat.

60 min

Bad Pennies

60 min

When Harry Met Janice

60 min

Stamp Duty

60 min