The Sabrina Zohar Show Season 2, Episode 61: Why Emotional Unavailability Feels Safe with Vanessa Bennett

1

New Year, Same You: How to 'Manifest' in 2024 and Set Realistic Goals with Masha Kay

Sabrina is joined by Masha Kay to debunk manifestation myths, set realistic goals for 2024, and support your nervous system on working towards your goals this year.

65 min

2

Navigating Codependency and Trauma Bonds with Logan Cohen

Sabrina is joined by licensed therapist and trauma specialist Logan Cohen. Sabrina and Logan go over navigating codependency, trauma bonds, and how to be alone in dating.

49 min

3

The Neuroscience of Imposter Syndrome and Ruminating/Spiraling Thoughts with Alexis Fernandez

Sabrina is joined by neuroscientist and host of Do You F*cking Mind Alexis Fernandez to talk about the neuroscience of imposter syndrome, ruminating/spiraling thoughts, closure and so much more

54 min

4

Inside the Mind of a Narcissist with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman

Sabrina is joined by Dr. Jaime Zuckerman. We go inside the mind of a narcissist: NPD, gaslighting, types of narcissist, their cycle of abuse, and SO much more.

52 min

5

Timing, Getting Comfortable Being Uncomfortable, and How to Handle 'What Ifs'

Sabrina goes over timing (wrong person right time, age gaps), getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, and how to handle 'what ifs' in dating and during a breakup.

34 min

6

The Importance of Inner Child Work with Therapist Sarah Ann LaFleur

Sabrina is joined by therapist Sarah Ann LaFleur to chat about inner child work, how to heal through abandonment/rejection and how unresolved childhood trauma seeps into every aspect of your dating life.

45 min

7

What It ACTUALLY Mean to Love Yourself and to Release Shame and Blame with Masha Kay

Sabrina is joined by Masha Kay to chat about what it *actually* means to love yourself and to release shame and blame especially around Valentines Day.

56 min

8

How to Flirt, Approach People, and Build Your Confidence with Benjamin Camras

Sabrina is joined by flirt coach Benjamin Camras to chat about flirting dos and don'ts, how to approach people on the apps and in the wild, and how to build your confidence in dating.

51 min

9

Expectations in Dating and How to Clearly Communicate and Navigate Uncertainty

Sabrina goes over unrealistic vs reasonable expectations in dating and how to clearly communicate and navigate uncertainty.

42 min

10

Self Healing, Forgiveness, Victimhood, and How to Hold Yourself Accountable with Dr. Nicole Lepera

Sabrina is joined by Dr. Nicole Lepera to talk about self healing, forgiveness, victimhood, and how to hold yourself accountable.

61 min

11

Love/Social Media Addiction and What's happening in the Brain During Rejection with Britt Frank

Sabrina is joined by neuropsychotherapist Britt Frank. Sabrina and Britt chat about love and social media addiction, the addition cycle, and what happens in your brain during rejection.

59 min

12

Compatibility vs The Spark and the Difference between the 'ick' and Standards

Sabrina goes over compatibility VS the spark (and how chasing that is detrimental to your dating life) and how the difference between the 'ick' and standards.

36 min

13

Avoidant Attachment and Understanding Why Avoidants Retreat with Ken Reid

Sabrina is joined by therapist Ken Reid to talk about avoidant attachment, how it shows up in dating, understanding why avoidants retreat and how their triggers manifest in relationships.

56 min

14

Eating Disorders and Trauma Responses with Jaimie Bailey

Sabrina sits down with her sister Jaimie Bailey for a heart-to-heart talk on trauma and its manifestation in her relationship with food. Jaimie is a holistic nutritionist passionate about wellness and a healthy relationship with food and diet.

59 min

15

How to Handle Dating A Single Parent with Therapist Quinn Padilla

Sabrina and guest Quin Padilla discuss navigating life and love after divorce. Quin Padilla is a therapist and wellness coach specializing in nervous system regulation and trauma healing. She shares her experiences of dating, finding love, and marriage as a single mom after her divorce.

62 min

16

How to Level Up Your Dating Game and Go from Toxic to Healthy

Sabrina opens up about her personal journey in the dating world, transitioning from repeatedly choosing toxic relationships to healthy ones. The first step is to recognize our own toxic behaviors, such as ignoring red flags.

46 min

17

Ask Me Anything with Tech Guy

Sabrina and the tech guy sit down for a meaningful chat and Q&A session about their dating journey and experiences. We gain perspective on the dos and don'ts, responsibilities (e.g., who should pay for the date), the honeymoon phase, and boundaries.

58 min

18

Codependency and Getting Back with an Ex with Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath

Sabrina sits down with Mark Groves and his partner, Kylie McBeath, for a conversation on their dating journey, which leads them from breaking up to finding each other again years later.

68 min

19

Trust Yourself, Own Your Triggers, and Get What You Need with Masha Kay

Sabrina explores the ins and outs of the healing journey with Masha, which revolves around nervous system regulation and self-trust development. Nervous system dysregulation goes hand in hand with how we view ourselves and our perception of reality.

66 min

20

Are You REALLY Ready for a Relationship?

How do you know you are ready for a relationship? Sabrina explores that difficult question because so much gets lost in the weeds for people. Being ready means accepting rejection in dating, but that's ok because you aren't for everyone.

46 min

21

Stop Chasing Unavailable Love & Idealized Relationships ft. Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey and Sabrina delve deep into the complex world of love and relationships. Join us as Matthew Hussey, renowned relationship coach and author of "Love Life," shares invaluable insights on the pitfalls of cherishing potential over reality in romantic pursuits.

68 min

22

Show Up Confidently and Authentically in Dating ft. Lisa Bilyeu

Sabrina and Lisa Bilyeu delve into the topic of navigating people-pleasing. Lisa's life experiences, which led to her business venture and her latest book, Radical Confidence, are a testament to the fact that finding the confidence to voice your needs and wants is a journey that can start at any point in life. Note from Sabrina: we had to switch platforms during the recording due to technical errors, which caused a degradation in quality during the second half of the show. We apologize for an impacted viewing experience.

58 min

23

Dating Fatigue and What It Actually Means To Go Slow

Sabrina gets real about dating fatigue and common misconceptions during and after dating. Does it ever end after you get into a relationship? She breaks down the sources of exhaustion and how to counter it by focusing on what you can control about the dating experience.

50 min

24

Let Go of Shame and Put Your Mental Health First with Anna Przy

Sabrina talks with guest Anna Przy about the mental health journey that led to her current ventures. Addressing mental health needs can be a complex process, and the journey is not always straightforward, which can make it unappealing to some.

66 min

25

Healing from Narcissists: Boundaries, and Moving Forward with Dr. Ramani

Sabrina is joined today by Dr. Ramani, a clinical psychologist, who describes narcissism as a maladaptive personality style rooted in low empathy, appearance focus, and a need for admiration, with insecurity and shame at its core. Children of narcissistic parents often experience guilt, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

60 min

26

Changing Negative Thoughts and Talking It Out with Jason Goldberg

This week, Sabrina sits down with Jason Goldberg, a speaker, coach, and author, who emphasizes reframing negative thoughts and consistent action to challenge a fixed mindset, particularly in dating. He shares his experiences with anxiety and depression, advocating for grounding oneself in physical sensations before cognitive reframing.

57 min

27

Why Chasing Validation Led Me to the WRONG Relationships

Sabrina is back for a solo episode this week, exploring the pitfalls of chasing the wrong things in relationships, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and breaking negative patterns. She shares her journey from anxious attachment, seeking validation from unsuitable partners, to finding balance and self-acceptance.

48 min

28

Stop People-Pleasing and Take Back Your Power ft Matthias Barker

Sabrina sits down with Matthias Barker for a second time to dive into the detrimental effects of people-pleasing, a common trauma response where individuals regulate others to feel safe themselves. Unlike genuine empathy, people-pleasing stems from fear and often involves manipulation.

60 min

29

Texting in Dating Pt. 2

Flying solo today for this special episode, Sabrina is talking about texting while dating. Sabrina's personal experience highlights that the anxiety around texting persists even when trying to disconnect, but it's how you handle these feelings that matter. Texting can trigger black-and-white thinking, where unmet expectations validate negative core beliefs, leading to anxiety.

54 min

30

Debunking Healing Myths: Why Healing Requires Struggle with Masha Kay

In this episode, Sabrina and Masha Kay delve into the topic of perfectionism and debunking healing myths. They discuss the misconception that healing means never experiencing negative emotions or challenges. The conversation highlights the importance of embracing the full spectrum of emotions and learning to move through challenges rather than avoiding them.

70 min

31

Differences In Dating

Flying solo today, Sabrina sits down to chat about handling differences in dating, which involves open communication and understanding personal boundaries. Sabrina emphasizes the importance of discussing key topics early on, such as beliefs, future goals, and financial habits.

56 min

32

How To Rewire Your Brain With Nicole Neuroscience

From across the world, Nicole Vignola (aka Nicole Neuroscience), neuroscientist, organizational consultant, and author, is in the studio to talk with Sabrina about the impact of neuroplasticity on daily life, particularly in the context of dating and relationships. Neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to form new connections, is reinforced by consistency and can help change unproductive patterns learned in childhood.

70 min

33

From Anxious to Secure: Building Secure Relationships with Dr. Morgan Anderson

Sitting down in the studio today, Sabrina and Dr. Morgan Anderson, a psychologist specializing in attachment theory, share their stories growing from an anxious to a secure attachment in their relationships. After experiencing an emotionally abusive relationship, Dr. Morgan committed to healing and understanding attachment theory. She emphasizes the importance of working through childhood wounds and learning to respond rather than react.

66 min

34

Why You're Hung Up On Someone Who Doesn't Want To Be With You

Sabrina explores the reasons we sometimes pursue people who don’t want us and emphasizes the necessity of healing and self-empowerment. Rejection is painful, but it’s crucial to understand that it’s not a reflection of our worth.

52 min

35

Boundaries vs. Jealousy: Navigating Trust and Insecurity With Therapy Jeff

Jeff Gunther, known on social media as Therapy Jeff, joins Sabrina to discuss themes of jealousy in dating relationships, drawing from insights in his new book on how to show up authentically in relationships. They explore retroactive jealousy—obsessing over a partner's past relationships—and share personal experiences, highlighting that such jealousy often stems from personal insecurities and lack of self-worth.

60 min

36

Performance Anxiety and Navigating Mental Health With Victoria Garrick Browne

Join Sabrina as she delves into a powerful conversation with Victoria Garrick Browne, a former college athlete turned mental health advocate and podcast host. Victoria shares her journey of struggling with mental health during her athletic career, including how she initially ignored her feelings and gaslit herself to push through.

59 min

37

The Spark, Closure, and Debunking Dating Myths With Britt Frank

In a discussion debunking dating myths, neuropsychotherapist Britt Frank and host Sabrina explore how the brain is involved with these false ideas. They challenge the myth that knowing why someone behaves a certain way will fix a relationship, emphasizing the importance of personal emotional responses over external explanations.

62 min

38

Why You Overthink And How To Stop

Sabrina shares her journey with overthinking, explaining that it often arises from the brain's attempt to protect us through fear and coping mechanisms learned in childhood. This process involves the amygdala's fear response, which can shut down the prefrontal cortex, causing further overthinking and misinterpreting neutral signals as negative in dating, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy of rejection.

48 min

39

How To Heal After A Toxic Relationship And How To Find Yourself With Ginger Dean

Ginger Dean joins Sabrina to discuss toxic relationships, healing, and personal growth. Ginger, who experienced an abusive marriage, emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s role in recurring unhealthy relationships to reclaim power and avoid rationalizing red flags.

62 min

40

Rejection, Abandonment, And The Origin Wound With Vienna Pharaon

On this week’s episode, Sabrina chats with Vienna Pharaon, a licensed family and marital therapist. They delve into the concept of origin wounds and explore how childhood experiences shape our lives and influence our relationships. Vienna talks about how unresolved pain often manifests as patterns in our daily lives, and urges us not to get stuck in the past but to acknowledge and understand it

58 min

41

What It Actually Means To Be In A Secure Relationship With Julie Menanno

Julie Menanno is on the show today, sitting down with Sabrina to talk about the interplay of attachment and relationships. Julie emphasizes that healthy relationships aren't about accommodating each other's insecurities or avoiding triggers but about engaging in mutual growth and healing. She and Sabrina challenge the narrative that one must lower their expectations or avoid partners who trigger them.

62 min

42

Taking Things Personally

In today’s solo episode, Sabrina dives into why people take things personally and how to stop doing so. She shares a personal story about being ghosted and the person later reaching out to apologize to emphasize that a lot of the time, it’s about the other person and not you. Sabrina talks about how taking things personally often stems from assuming something about the other person, which can trigger core wounds and childhood experiences where you might have blamed yourself.

44 min

43

Disorganized Attachment In Dating And Relationships With Thais Gibson

Sitting down with Sabrina today is Thais Gibson, co-founder of The Personal Development School, which focuses on attachment styles: secure, anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant (or disorganized). She and Sabrina talk about the different attachment styles to lay the groundwork for this conversation.

53 min

44

Catfishing, High Value Dating, and Spilling The Tea With Kamie Crawford

Joining Sabrina today is Kamie Crawford, diving deep into relationships, touching on dating dynamics, attachment styles, and red flags. Kamie reflects on her anxious attachment stemming from an absent parent and how therapy has helped her move towards a secure attachment. Sabrina and Kamie agree that while disagreements are natural, constant arguing in relationships isn't healthy.

56 min

45

How to Manage Reactions To Emotions & Sit In The Discomfort

On today’s solo episode Sabrina delves into the often-overlooked concept of sitting with uncomfortable emotions. She shares personal stories to make the topic relatable, emphasizing that emotional discomfort is not something to resist but to explore. By understanding what’s happening in your body and identifying where the discomfort lies, you can regulate your emotions more effectively.

48 min

46

How To Actually Change Your Life With Liz Moody

Liz Moody, a journalist turned podcaster and author, sits down with Sabrina to talk about how to grow into the person you want to be. Liz shares some of her personal journey and emphasizes saying yes to yourself. She and Sabrina encourage people to start by figuring out what they truly want, free from external pressures, and to identify their motivations.

55 min

47

Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, Doubts, And Fears With David Ghiyam

This week, Sabrina sits down with David Ghiyam to dive deep into the principles of Kabbalah and how it applies to personal growth and relationships. Both share personal insights, with Sabrina emphasizing that challenges are invitations to grow and expand her capacity to handle life’s difficulties. She reflects on how her own journey has pushed her to step into her power, even when it’s uncomfortable, and sees pain as a necessary part of becoming a vessel for greater things.

54 min

48

How To Stop Playing Games In Dating & All Things Sexual Health With Shaun Galanos

Shaun Galanos, a love coach, joins Sabrina to discuss the importance of authenticity, curiosity, and open communication in dating, especially regarding sexual health. He encourages people to stop playing games and be honest about their feelings. Shaun and Sabrina share their personal experiences and emphasize the importance of addressing STIs early in relationships, advocating for open conversations about testing, precautions, and boundaries.

55 min

49

Imposter Syndrome, Self Doubt & Why You Need To Bet On Yourself

In a special 100th episode, Sabrina dives into imposter syndrome, surrendering to the process, and the importance of betting on yourself. She shares her personal journey of hitting rock bottom and realizing she wasn’t taking control of her life, focusing too much on external validation. Sabrina discusses how imposter syndrome, often rooted in perfectionism and fear of rejection, can hinder progress.

45 min

50

Stop Chasing Potential & Putting Them On A Pedestal with Silvy Khoucasian

Sabrina and Silvy sit down to discuss what can cause the tendency to chase potential in relationships and put partners on pedestals. They offer practical tips for managing these patterns. Silvy, a relationship coach, reflects on her own journey with fearful-avoidant attachment after a long-term relationship, explaining how unresolved childhood trauma led her to project insecurities and set unrealistic standards.

56 min

51

Navigating The Highs & Lows Of Dating & Relationships with Dr. Scott Lyons

Dr. Scott Lyons joins Sabrina to discuss the high highs and low lows of dating, focusing on the addiction to drama in relationships. He and Sabrina explore how unresolved trauma can lead to seeking emotionally unavailable partners or chaotic relationships, mirroring past experiences. They highlight how many people are drawn to emotional intensity, mistaking it for love, and how this creates a cycle of self-abandonment, as individuals chase someone else’s emotional rollercoaster instead of staying grounded in themselves.

54 min

52

How To Stop Settling with Quinlan Walther

In today’s conversation, Quinlan and Sabrina talk about situationships, self-love, and self-trust. A situationship is defined in this conversation as an undefined, noncommittal relationship where one person desires more commitment than the other. Sabrina shares her personal experiences with situationships, highlighting the lessons she learned, such as the critical role of communication and how past emotional suppression from childhood influenced her approach to dating. Quinlan emphasizes the importance of self-love, explaining that you can’t fully share yourself with others until you love and respect yourself first.

54 min

53

How To Effectively Communicate Your Needs And Navigate Conflict

In this solo episode, Sabrina emphasizes the importance of communicating needs and navigating conflict in relationships. She wants individuals to trust themselves and be honest, even when difficult conversations feel uncomfortable. A challenge many face is overcoming core belief and facing fear of abandonment or rejection, which often leads people to avoid addressing their concerns.

46 min

54

Why You're Not Making Progress In Your Healing Journey With Masha Kay

n this episode, Masha joins Sabrina to dive into why so many struggle to see real progress in their healing journeys. They explore how lasting change starts with radical accountability and self-regulation—shifting away from seeking external validation and advice. Masha and Sabrina discuss how true growth means taking responsibility without self-blame, focusing on self-awareness and setting realistic expectations.

59 min

55

From First Date to What’s Next? How to Navigate the 0-1 Month Stage of Dating

Dating can be emotionally intense, even for those who've worked on themselves. Sabrina explains that dating triggers are normal, but trusting your instincts is crucial. Building a healthy relationship takes patience, self-awareness, and emotional regulation. Distinguish between anxiety (which spirals) and intuition (which feels calm).

49 min

56

Are They Avoidant, Narcissistic, or Just An A*shole? ft. Joe Nucci

Sabrina welcomes Joe Nucci to discuss dating and relationship dynamics, starting with the misconception that location is the root of dating struggles. Joe notes that while cities like New York and Colorado have distinct dating cultures, true obstacles often stem from avoidance and unresolved personal issues. They explore how self-acceptance bridges awareness and healing, stressing that dating is a skill, and choosing openness is key.

54 min

57

The Messy Middle: Navigating Uncertainty in the First 1-3 Months Of Dating

Welcome to part 2 of this series, in this episode, Sabrina dives into the 1-3 month stage of dating, where deeper emotions and unexpected triggers often emerge. She emphasizes the importance of self-trust and self-regulation, explaining that dating anxiety is natural but should be managed with tools like grounding exercises and clear communication.

42 min

58

Healing Single Vs. In A Relationship With Samm Murphy

Whether single or in a relationship, healing is a deeply personal journey. Today, Sabrina and guest Samm Murphy emphasize the importance of curiosity, self-awareness, and connection throughout the process. Sabrina highlights how being single can create space for self-discovery, allowing individuals to break habitual patterns and focus on their inner child work. Samm shares that while healing in a relationship adds complexity, it also offers unique opportunities for growth through triggers and mutual support.

65 min

59

3-6 Months In: Navigating the Make-or-Break Stage of Dating

Today Sabrina is talking about the 3-6 month mark in dating. This is an important time, and often the transition out of the honeymoon phase. This period reveals reality as dopamine-induced excitement fades, making it crucial to evaluate compatibility and address emerging dynamics. Sabrina encourages slowing down to regulate your nervous system and build trust gradually. This is the time to assess how your partner responds to your needs, communicate triggers, and explore values versus surface-level traits. Power struggles, doubts, and fears are normal as you recognize both strengths and flaws in each other.

41 min

60

Why Avoidants Push Away What They Want Most With Mark Manson

In a conversation with Sabrina, Mark Manson shares insights on navigating relationships from the perspective of an avoidantly attached individual. Drawing from his 12-year marriage, Mark emphasizes the importance of open communication and realistic expectations, especially in long-distance relationships. He advises having clear end goals and intentional conversations about logistics and contact frequency to maintain connection. Diving into Mark’s own avoidant tendencies, he and Sabrina explain how avoidance often stems from fear rather than lack of care or feelings. Mark highlights the significance of allowing space in relationships and how his wife’s patience helped him transition from avoidant to secure attachment. For anxious partners, they stress the need to become comfortable with an avoidant partner’s need for space, noting that healing happens through gradual trust-building.

58 min

61

Why Emotional Unavailability Feels Safe with Vanessa Bennett

Sabrina, alongside her guest Vanessa Bennett, dives deep into the complexities of the “not enough” wound and its impact on attachment styles, hyper-independence, and relationships. Vanessa, a Holistic Psychotherapist, shares insights from her professional and personal journey, highlighting how societal conditioning often instills feelings of unworthiness. Sabrina and Vanessa explore how hyper-independence and codependency are two sides of the same coin, both rooted in attempts to soothe the worthiness wound in different ways. Sabrina draws from her own experiences, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, setting boundaries, and embracing discomfort as essential steps in healing.

63 min

62

Dating 6+ Months: How To Build The Foundation For A Healthy And Secure Relationship

Today Sabrina discusses the pivotal six-month mark in relationships, when things shift from the honeymoon phase into a deeper, more stable phase of connection. At this point, dopamine levels balance out, and oxytocin shifts, often turning spontaneity into predictability. This is when core values and life goals start to surface, and it’s important to recognize that a relationship might not work out if there’s a fundamental mismatch between you and your partner.

45 min

63

Why You Shouldn't Settle In Love And Relationships With Dené Logan

Dené Logan joins Sabrina in a thought-provoking conversation about what settling is and what it can look like in relationships. They talk about how important it is to understand ourselves as souls when choosing partners. Dené challenges the common belief that being uncoupled is the worst outcome, arguing instead that relationships should add to our lives and not be driven by societal conditioning.

53 min

64

How to REALLY Detach

In this solo episode, Sabrina dives into the psychology and personal journey of detaching and letting go, emphasizing that the process is deeply individual and often challenging. She explores how anxiety and fear manifest across various aspects of life, such as relationships, money, and family, highlighting that our brains are wired to resist change due to comfort zone traps and familiar dopamine patterns.

47 min